- October 5, 2011
- 6 Comments
Repentance: What is it? How do I do it?
A big part of what we do in discipleship is to learn to expect and embrace repentance as the ordinary, regular experience of a Christian. Too often repentance is seen solely as the “entry point” into faith. Or, even more unhelpful, something we should do less and less the longer we follow Jesus. But remember: a disciple literally means “learner” (mathetes). To repent (metanoia) means to have a change of mind/heart. It is an INNER change that aligns our minds/hearts with God. Scripture talks about repentance often, even when the word isn’t used. It’s the way we “are renewed in the spirit of our minds” (Eph 4.23), the way we “have this mind about us, which is our in Christ Jesus” (Phil 2.5), the way we actively “set our minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Col 3.2).
But what is godly repentance? How do we “do” it? When do we know we’ve repented? Repentance can be difficult for us for the following reasons:
1.Many of us associate repentance with making ourselves feel really bad about sin. How do we respond to the conviction our badness? Do we respond with shame and self-loathing? Self-contempt and condemnation? With renewed resolve and determination to “try harder” or “stop sinning”? This isn’t godly repentance, but it is another form of self-effort moralism. Or…do we fly to the cross? Jesus took our punishment – repentance isn’t about punishing ourselves, but learning to rely on the finished work of Jesus. If repentance is an inner work, then our job in repentance isn’t to muster up enough “awful feelings” to make our repentance genuine. 40 lashes by the “whip of guilt” isn’t painful enough to teach us to obey from the heart. Jesus took the thorns, the whip, the nails – so put down your instruments of self-flagellation. It’s the Lord’s kindness that leads you to repentance (Rom. 2.4). Because of this kindness and patience we simply agree with God about what he is saying or doing – inwardly, we submit and surrender to what he shows us.
2. Many of us think repentance is focused on overcoming our sin. Much of what passes for repentance in churches is simply sin management. As my friends at Truefaced are famous for saying, “My righteousness is not measured by how little I sin, but is evidenced by how I give and receive love.” Godliness isn’t about sinning less…it’s about loving more. So, then, repentance isn’t about hating sin SO THAT we’ll listen to (or love or obey) God. Repentance is about listening to (loving, agreeing with) God so that we will learn to reject sin. Any repentance that focuses on getting away from sin rather than getting deeper into God is doomed to fail – or – doomed to keep us in bondage to what my friend J.R. Briggs calls “Religious Enslavement”. Much of what passes, for instance, in the realm of helping men achieve “sexual purity” is really about managing sin: not lusting, not masturbating, etc. RATHER than retraining their hearts to love women and see them the way God intended. A man may “conquer” lust, but never learn to love. He may stop looking at porn, but never learn to look at women the way God intended.
3. Many of us are surprised that we have to repent so much. After all, I’ve been a Christian for many years! I went to seminary, teach in church, lead a small group. “I should be far enough along by now to not have to repent as much as I used to.” I want to suggest this way of thinking is what keeps many of us enslaved to our shame and hiddenness and keeps us from enjoying the freedom and grace of God in Christ Jesus. As mature as Christians we will not repent less and less, but repent more and more. Repentance is simply the act of being sensitive to God’s voice in our lives, discern what he is saying/doing, and listening to him. Maturity, holiness, spiritual growth all lead us deeper into repentance. As we grow and mature in faith we just uncover more and more where we are wrong – or where God is right – and inwardly take on his attitude, his posture, his thinking, his heart. Our sin shouldn’t surprise us – Jesus didn’t die for “pretty good Christians who shouldn’t ever sin” – he died for you and me, all of us tied for “second worst” sinners. (1 Tim 1.15)
4. Many of us have a hard time paying attention and discovering where we are wrong. Do you know that repentance isn’t just something that happens when we obviously sin? But that God is giving us invitations all day, every day, to repent? Our job is to become increasingly aware of those opportunities (rather than seeing moments of repentance as “set backs”). I’ve found the language of Kairos Moments and The Learning Circle from 3DM to be extremely helpful to create a culture and awareness of repentance. Repentance is the doorway into the kingdom of God for the disciple (Mark 1.15; Rev 3.20) – If we are to grow we must learn to pay attention so that we can participate in what God is doing in our lives.
This is why I like to say “The best thing that could ever happen to me is that someone would lovingly show me I am wrong.” If we have a defensive, angry, or combative posture with others who disagree with us we will probably also have an issue with admitting wrongness and receiving correction. This will seriously impair the disciple’s greatest gift – the gift of repentance. Because I’m human I’m naturally disinclined to want to repent. The more I say “the best thing that could ever happen to me is that someone would lovingly show me that I am wrong,” the more I remind myself that repentance is a gift to seek. I need that reminder.
How have you experienced repentance in your life?
How were you taught to repent?
Anything that I’m saying about repentance bother you? Or do you disagree with?
What am I not seeing?
Categorized: Confession/Repentance, Huddle, Spiritual Disciplines Tags:Tags: 3DM, Continuous Breakthrough, Doug Paul, J.R. Briggs, Kairos Moments, Lifeshapes, Mike Breen, Overcoming Sin, Pornography, Repentance, The Learning Circle, Truefaced
Hey Matt,
I think you have some really good thoughts here. I like the proposal that the longer I am a Christian the easier it is to repent because I have more practice repenting.
I agree that repenting is not about shaming ourselves, but I do believe that remorse is an important aspect of true repentance. If we are not connected emotionally with the damage we have done, if we haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes and felt the injustice that they are experiencing, then our repentance is rather superficial and doesn’t change our hearts. Without a heart change, I don’t believe there can be a consistent behavior change.
I would like to hear a more nuanced discussion about sin management because in this essay, it almost sounds like you’re saying that worrying about our actions is irrelevant.
Maria –
I think there’s is a difference between conviction of sin and guilt and feeling healthy shame and unhealthy shame. I’m referring to the latter in my post. Remorse is good and right and true – but it’s shape and dimensions are ordered by our focusing on God and allowing him to reveal the true impact of our actions/sins. the thing I’m pushing back on is people beating themselves up for their sin, not not feeling remorse.
And sin management is not the same thing as ‘worrying about our actions’. We should have concern and be attentive to where our lives are not being lived surrendered to love. Sin management refers to how we go about addressing that issue: either we “work on our sin” or we (as I suggest) “get into love” – of course – there is an interplay here (Phil 2.12-13) – but our job isn’t to manage and fix our sin. Our job is to surrender and trust God’s work and love.
Hey Matt…couple of things floating around in my head as I read your post.
First of all, Manny Ortiz said to me last week…Repentance is grace. I loved the thought as it put into words something I’ve wanted to help people see all along. Repentance is the doorway to joy. It doesn’t mean we don’t mourn our sin but that we recognize that repentance is ultimately a turning away from our own self-imposed destruction and turning toward/leaning into God himself. I think that move can only be understood as joy-filled, in the long run. It may hurt, but a long view would show otherwise.
Secondly, I’ve been talking about repentance as a way of life. For me, this is cultivating the posture of surrender of autonomy, control and self-sufficiency; and a submission to God as an orienting way of maneuvering through life. It has been helpful to me to have an ongoing conversation with God through that lens, and it has exposed more in me and called me into deeper trust and dependence than before. In fact, repentance as a way of life is one of our core values/practices that we want to see happen at our church, this is the posture for anyone who desires to be shaped into the image of Christ, its how we submit to the new creation work going on in us…
Anyway, like what you’re talking about. If repentance is about sin management then its something we can ultimately control, repentance is our get out of jail free card. But if its about surrender etc. then repentance shapes us for dwelling in Christ throughout our lives.
Adam – yes! Sin management = control and self-wilfull attempts to deal with sin.
Love the language you’re contributing here to this – and Ortiz “repentance is grace” – I think he’s brilliant!
I appreciate this thoughtful analysis as I wrestle with my futile attempts to manage (and thoughts I must in fact obliterate much of) the sin in my life. I think I have been using repentance as a superficial means to sin management, without empowering its transformational potential.While it is so exciting to see how God’s power is manifested, it can feel defeating to have his Spirit reveal new sin of which I was formerly unaware and for which I must now repent. So I see now I will never feel like I am doing better, mastering the sin management, because He is digging deeper to uncover more as I journey toward holiness. Making repentance a positive practice is new to me. I believe it will be freeing to practice it in this manner. A posture of thankfulness that He cares about me enough to keep working on me puts a positive spin on my condition. The fact that Jesus took care of this condition and lovingly beckons me closer should be my focus.
Margie –
Great thoughts. I’m with you on “feeling defeated” when I realize I must repent. Everyday learning that repentance is a GIFT and not something to be defeated over. Repentance is my ONLY way into the Kingdom! I should be happy – thankful – thrilled about the opportunity to repent. It’s a process of relearning…